


Contradictions

by MoanDiary



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-22
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-21 00:31:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/893702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoanDiary/pseuds/MoanDiary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trying to crack my way into Cas's head during the events of "Caged Heat."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Contradictions

Castiel's still half-hard from the pornography, his brain still half-shrouded in a haze of aimless desire, when their eyes meet outside the rickety house. He's flanked by the brothers Winchester, she by her underlings--standing opposite each other along the usual battle lines: yet another in an endless succession of face-offs.

The sight of her, the scent of her--just her very presence, really--immediately knocks him off guard. His mind says "demon, abomination," but his body says " _woman_ " with such intensity that he feels a little weak in the knees for a moment. Castiel doesn't think it shows. Certainly no one else has noticed. But as Meg's eyes rake up and down his body, frank and sly, he knows she can see right through him.

His sensory memory is all too happy to piece her smell and the arch of her sardonic brows back together with the way she felt against him in that ring of holy fire. It delights, seemingly, in reminding him all-too-vividly of the topography of her curves and angles, her deceptive delicacy. She leaves after a final once-over that makes him feel hot and cold all at once. He doesn't understand these contradictions, and he doesn't like them.

He likes them too much.

In another situation, at another time, when he wasn't facing monumental upheaval in Heaven and Hell and the conspicuous absence of the soul of one of his only true friends, he might have talked to Dean about it. Dean would have made a joke Castiel only partially understood and slap him on the shoulder, dispensing some sage advice about women and sexual intercourse that would make all of his present frustration seem silly.

Unfortunately, it isn't another situation. He can tell that Dean is in no mood to joke or deal with wacky, virginal Cas tonight. To be honest, Castiel isn't either, which makes his vessel's present state a major annoyance.

They meet back up with the demons outside Crowley's prison. Somehow Meg ends up beside him. He doesn't know whether this is because of him or her, or whether they mutually gravitate towards each other like twin stars. The scant space between them feels charged and magnetic. Castiel thinks about moving away, but knows with a sidelong glance down at her that it would be read as a sign of weakness. The idea of her finding a chink in his armor, knowing how to get the upper hand, terrifies him and thrills him. Another contradiction.

He's surprised she agrees to take on the hellhounds herself, and a little impressed. In his experience, demons avoid heroics and selflessness as they would holy saltwater. He's still marveling at that, trying to suss out her motives, when she pulls his lips down to hers, and then his mind goes blank.

It's better than he imagined, after all those centuries of watching endless humans sucking on each other's faces. He's only gradually coming to realize the power of human senses, which are so much weaker than an angel's, while simultaneously much more intense. Two years ago, he couldn't have conceived of the pleasure of biting into a hot, juicy hamburger or holding a woman against him. It's all much more than he had bargained for.

All of this blazes through his head as her supple lips caress his. He can feel one of her hands creeping around his midriff and he shudders, waves of pleasure surging out from where her fingers brush against him. 

Her mouth draws back from his all too soon. He's not really thinking of the pizza man or the babysitter when he picks her up and puts her between him and the wall, despite what he says later. All he's thinking is that he wants _more_ , more of her against him, more of her mouth on his, more control. She seems to not have a problem with it. His erection has returned with a vengeance, and he's distantly aware of how much more powerful an effect this kind of stimulus has on him than the pornography.

The thought _I want to fuck you_  springs to his head unbidden, and he has the presence of mind to be shocked at his own crassness. When he finally manages to pull away, he can see from her gleeful, if a little glassy, expression that his sentiments are clear as crystal to her. He hates that she has something on him now, knows one of his weaknesses. On the other hand, he thinks as she holds his gaze a little too long, he's got something on her, too. The score's equal again.

Then she's hefting the sword she managed to lift off him and telling them to go, and he reluctantly acknowledges that she might be a couple points ahead.

Later, when Dean jokes grimly that he would have given Cas an hour with her before killing her, Castiel feigns innocence. But he thinks to himself that it would take much longer than an hour for the the two of them to be satisfied. In fact, it would probably take an eternity.


End file.
